


Overwhelmed

by legendofthesevenstars



Category: Tenkuu no Escaflowne | The Vision of Escaflowne
Genre: Anxiety, Gen, Scene Rewrite, Shippy if you Squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:00:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27881886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/legendofthesevenstars/pseuds/legendofthesevenstars
Summary: Distressed by what the upcoming wedding might mean for Millerna's happiness, Hitomi encourages her to go with her feelings, yet struggles with her own conflicted emotions.
Relationships: Millerna Aston & Kanzaki Hitomi
Kudos: 3





	Overwhelmed

Hitomi could hardly believe Millerna was getting married so soon. So soon after what had happened in Freid and Atlantis. How could she get married to a man she didn’t really love? Even if she’d been distant from Allen for the last few weeks, Hitomi knew she still loved him. She didn’t look at Dryden the same way she’d always looked at Allen. Before they’d arrived in Freid, she’d been willing to risk everything to be with Allen, and to save his life. Would she be willing to do the same for Dryden?

Millerna barely seemed troubled over it. She dragged Hitomi down to her closets and started rifling through all the dresses.

“You need something nice to wear so you don’t stand out in your Mystic Moon clothes,” she said. Hitomi didn’t really care that much about her school uniform sticking out, not when the wedding was coming up. “I know you’re not much for frills, so I’ll pick out something plain. A more practical outfit for a practical girl like you.”

What was that supposed to mean? It sounded kind of insulting, but there was a fondness to Millerna’s voice that hadn’t been there when they’d first met.

“I’m not really worried about the dress,” she said, folding her hands over her lap. She curled her toes and bit her lip.

“You’re worried about the wedding.”

Hitomi’s heart jumped into her throat.

“It’s all right,” Millerna said. “He’s handsome, his family’s well off, and he’s smart. I know it’s the right thing to do for Asturia and for myself. Dryden will make me happy.”

“But is that really what you believe?”

The dress in Millerna’s hands fell to the floor. Passing clouds obscured the sun, darkening the room.

“You don’t really want this marriage. You still have feelings for Allen. You shouldn’t give up on him!”

 _But do_ I _really believe that?_ Hitomi stared at the fallen dress. She saw Allen’s smile when she blinked, felt butterflies in her stomach. _Do I really want Millerna to go after Allen?_

“Everyone’s being way too mature about this,” Hitomi continued. “Especially you. How can you give up on someone you love?”

 _But if Dryden and Millerna get married, Allen’s going to be…_ Hitomi shook her head. She couldn’t be selfish. Millerna loved Allen. As much as she cared about Allen, she couldn’t stand the thought of Millerna getting locked into a loveless marriage.

Before she could say anything else, Millerna turned to her.

“Hitomi, you’re such a child.”

 _How can you say that?_ Hitomi wanted to say, but didn’t. It wasn’t about being childish. Why didn’t she understand?

Millerna bent to pick up the fallen dress. The clouds passed, and the sun lit up the room again.

“Of course, it’s not just your dress,” Millerna said. She walked over to Hitomi, the dress still draped over her left arm, and poked at the back of Hitomi’s head. “You’ve got this little lock of hair that sticks up. I suppose that could be wet down, but what are we going to do about this short haircut?” She touched the edges of Hitomi’s hair, her fingers brushing the back of her neck. “Is there any special reason you cut it so short? Or is this just the style on the Mystic Moon?”

“It’s easier to keep it short. I run track.”

“What’s that?”

“I compete with people from other schools to see which of us is the fastest runner. It’s not just running. There are other parts to it, too, like hurdles and long jump.”

They were silent for a moment. Millerna opened the window, sitting down on the ledge. She was framed by the light from behind. She patted the ledge next to her, and hesitantly, Hitomi sat down next to her, their shoulders brushing. _She smells like cherry blossoms and tea. She smells like… Yukari._ Hitomi wasn’t sure if it was the first she’d noticed.

“Do you miss your Mystic Moon life?”

“Huh?” Hitomi met Millerna’s gaze. Her violet eyes seemed to sparkle in the sunlight.

“You always seem so stressed and anxious. At first, I just thought you were the kind of person who’s always nervous. But now I’m not so sure.” She clutched her elbows, hugging her arms to her body. “Your life must have been much easier, or at least much more comfortable, on the Mystic Moon.”

Hitomi looked out over the rooftops of Palas. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d ridden the train, opened the trapdoor of a vending machine, visited a shrine, or gone shopping in a real department store. On Earth, she’d had indoor plumbing, and travel had lasted hours and minutes rather than weeks and days. She’d always woken up late on Friday and without fail, Mom would always make lunch for her that day. And every day, she’d met Yukari at the train station, and gone to practice after school where she saw Amano.

On Earth, she’d never been afraid for her life. She’d always known she would die one day. Now that she had, she knew it wasn’t impossible that it would happen again, but for good. Van, Allen, and the others fought so that she and Millerna didn’t have to, but it was hard to ever think she’d feel truly safe on Gaea. But even if she couldn’t feel safe, even if her life wasn’t easier, she wasn’t uncomfortable. Looking back at Millerna’s concerned eyes, she knew that there were people here on Gaea who loved and cared about her, and that she cared about them in return.

If only she could get Millerna to listen.

“I still see worry in your eyes,” Millerna said. Sighing, she stood up from the window ledge, wringing her hands. “Am I truly making the wrong choice?”

“I’m just worried about you. I want you to be happy. And I just don’t know if getting married is the right thing to do right now.”

Millerna froze. “You want me to be happy?” She turned toward Hitomi, her eyes shining.

“Yes!” Hitomi stood up, clenching her hands into fists and holding them tightly to her sides. “I care about you.”

_Even if I love Allen, I just can’t let her be unhappy. I can’t let anyone I love be unhappy._

“I don’t want you to worry about me.” Millerna walked back over to the window, looking outside. Seabirds squawked as they passed over the rooftops, and a gentle breeze tousled Millerna’s hair. _Cherry blossoms._ Hitomi’s heart clenched.

 _Yukari. Where are you now?_ How _are you?_

“But I feel so conflicted,” she finished. “So, Hitomi…” Sitting down, she turned her head to look in her eyes. She looked radiant in the late morning sun, but her eyes swam with her sorrow. “Will you read my fortune? So that I can clear my mind of all my doubts?”

Hitomi’s breath hitched. After what she’d seen in Atlantis, she now knew the anxieties of her heart might call forth a bad future. She wanted Millerna to be happy, but she didn’t know what would make her happy. Should Millerna choose Allen, or could she be happy with Dryden? Would Allen be happy with Millerna, or did he feel the same way about her? Did she love Allen too much to let him be with Millerna?

“I don’t have my tarot cards with me,” Hitomi lied.

“That’s all right. I’ve got all afternoon, so I’ll wait here.”

“But I’m not ready. I mean, I don’t feel well… um, maybe later!”

Hitomi darted out of the room, sprinting down the stairs and out the side door of the castle. _That was so stupid!_ She’d lied to Millerna to protect herself, but in a way, it had also been to protect Millerna. If she gave a reading while she was conflicted, she’d just see her own anxieties in the cards. But Millerna was worried, too. How could she not be, making such a life-changing decision at her age, at Hitomi’s age?

Hitomi’s heart ached when she thought about the fate Millerna was accepting. She didn’t _want_ to marry Dryden. She loved Allen! She’d always loved him. From the moment she’d first seen Millerna, she’d known that. She would be happy with Allen. Wouldn’t she? Was that what she wanted? Was it what Hitomi wanted? It was hard to know for sure. But there were two things she did know for sure.

One: she missed home, and Amano, and Yukari.

Two: in spite of that, she wasn’t ready to leave her life on Gaea behind, and she wanted everyone she knew to be happy, to be able to let go of all their worries and doubts. Rationally, she knew she couldn’t fix everything, but now that she knew she could change things, she wanted to try. Telling fortunes on Gaea had made her perceptive, and running track on Earth had made her nothing if not persistent. She’d fix this, in her own way. Just not today.


End file.
